Wide-Eyed
by narcolepticbadger
Summary: People see Lorna Morello's lipstick and her wide-eyed belief in love and the way she swims in even the smallest-size prison khakis and think that she's the vulnerable one, that she's the one they can use to get to Red. People don't see that Morello's always been good at keeping secrets.


_Wide-eyed, both in silence_  
_Wide-eyed, like we're in a crime scene_  
-Daughter, "Candles"

.  
.

Nicky found Morello curled in her bunk, facing the wall with her arms crossed tightly against her chest. "You look like you've been in the trenches today, kid. What's going on?"

Morello didn't answer. Nicky understood. Some days in here all you could do was stare at the walls and let the blankness settle over your brain until you stopped feeling much at all. Everyone had those days, some more than others – Nicky couldn't actually remember the last time Morello had a day like this, but she _had _been having a shit time of it lately. Finding out your fiancée was marrying another woman would bring anyone down.

"You know, that wall's not gonna run away if you turn your back on it, kid." Still nothing. Morello never kept her mouth shut this long. At the very least she could tell Nicky to fuck off or start crying or something.

Nicky dropped herself onto the foot of the bed with a sigh. "Look, if this is about that asshole fiancée of yours, I'm telling you – "

"It's not about Christopher. I just don't feel so good right now." Her voice was muffled against the pillow.

"Yeah? What variety of 'not so good' are we dealing with?" Nicky reached over to feel Morello's forehead. Normal, as far as she could tell. She reached for Morello's arm instead, pulling her upright as she said, "C'mon, let me get a look at you."

"Ow, Nicky!" Morello tried to pull away at the contact, her struggles quickly faltering under the strength of Nicky's grip. She made a small whimpery sound as Nicky took in her wet eyes and the not-quite-hidden speckles of pink seeping through her shirtsleeve.

Nicky closed her eyes, trying not to think about Morello with a razorblade, carving things into her arms because some dick thought he was too good to marry her. Trying not to think about what she had interrupted. Trying not to think about big words like _depression_ and _suicidal_ and _mutilation_.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me…" Nicky whispered fiercely. She forced up Morello's sleeve with a lot less gentleness than was probably called for in this situation. She needed to see.

"What the fuck is this?" A dozen or so small, circular burns cut angrily across Morello's forearm in a distinct X shape. The burns were fresh – striking against Morello's pale skin, some of them already starting to blister. And beneath the scattering of wounds, bruises inked around Morello's wrist in the shape of fingers, in the shape of a fist.

"Who did this to you?" Morello was back to resolutely staring at the wall, silent and unreadable. Nicky realized she was still holding too tightly onto Morello's arm. She slid her hand down to link with Morello's, softened her eyes, softened her voice, and guided Morello's eyes to hers with a soft touch. "Lorna, please tell me who did this."

"Vee wants to know how Red's getting her stuff inside." Her eyes were still wet but otherwise blank, her voice flat.

"But you don't know anything about that."

"Yeah, well, I'm just the messenger. The message. For Red."

Morello's detachment was starting to worry Nicky. It was like she had been stripped of her personality, and now she was completely unrecognizable. "You're not really making sense, kid. You've gotta tell me what happened."

She maneuvered them so they were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder on the bed, backs to the wall. She slipped an arm around Morello and pressed her close, leaning their heads together. "Start from the beginning," she prompted quietly.

Morello blew out a long breath. And waited. And began. "I was in the bathroom…"

.  
.

Morello was in the bathroom fixing her hair, enjoying the fact that she didn't have to fight for mirror space this time. She could linger. She hardly noticed when the stall behind her opened and its occupant joined her at the sinks.

The woman towered over her, even two sinks away. She gave her hands a thorough washing, then casually, almost timidly, looked over and asked, "Morello, right?"

Morello nodded. "You got it. I remember bringing you in - Parker."

"You remember everyone you bring in? Impressive." Parker grinned. "Anyway, most people 'round here call me Vee."

Morello shrugged, still focused on her hair.

"I have something you might be interested in." Vee tilted her hand so Morello could see the cigarette discreetly held against her palm.

"Oh, I don't smoke. The wrinkles, the yellow teeth – men don't find that stuff so attractive."

"Fair enough. I don't smoke 'em myself." Vee started to close the distance between them, her smile still disarming and her voice light. "But now you've left me nothing to trade you for the favor I'm about to ask you."

Morello turned around so she could lean against the sink, raising one eyebrow at Vee. "Favor, eh?"

Vee stepped closer, lowered her voice like she was sharing a secret. "I need some information. Big eyes like yours, you must see a lot around here."

Morello laughed nervously. "Oh, I don't know about that. Keep pretty busy with the driving and all…"

"You're one of Red's girls. I bet you know something about where that lipstick you like so much comes from." Vee's voice was still pleasant, but all pretense that this was a friendly conversation had been dropped. Vee's hand came to rest on the counter beside Morello, their arms almost touching. A casual threat.

"Red's business stays Red's business. She doesn't like anyone else getting involved." Morello kept herself steady, kept their eyes locked, as if – despite her obvious disadvantages – she could still put up a fight. _The second you're perceived as weak, you already are_.

Vee cocked her head. "That right? Well, if you don't know anything, how about I just give you a little message for Red?"

Morello couldn't stop her eyes from flicking towards the door. "Whatever you're thinking of doing, someone's gonna walk in here any minute – "

"You're right. Anyone could walk in here, which is why I had my girls close this bathroom down for a good, old-fashioned cleaning." Vee's smile now had a sadistic glee in it as she stared Morello down, slowly reaching up to tuck the previously proffered cigarette between her lips. Morello could feel her body inching away from Vee in any direction possible – which was no direction, really, with the hard ceramic of the sinks against her back and Vee herself somehow surrounding her everywhere else.

Vee lit the cigarette with a battery attached to something Morello couldn't quite place. Things were starting to feel disconnected, slowed-down. Her eyes darted to the door again.

"You want to scream for help, make a run for it?" Vee wrapped her long fingers around Morello's wrist, holding it in place so she could roll up the sleeve with her other hand. She breathed smoke into Morello's face as the cigarette came down from her lips. "Try me."

Morello closed her eyes.

.  
.

"Hmm. Not my best work." Vee angled Morello's arm this way and that as if she were appraising a piece of art. She ran a few fingers across Morello's cheek to dry the tear trails there. "But you! Didn't make one peep – I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or proud. You're one of Red's, all right."

Morello didn't remember crying. She didn't remember why she had come to the bathroom in the first place, or how long they had been in here, or where she was supposed to be. The fluorescent lighting seemed weirdly bright all of a sudden.

"Now, be a good girl and give this message to Red. And if you're thinking of doing anything stupid, I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop playing nice and do something about that friend of yours." Vee waited until Morello looked at her. "The junkie with the big hair?"

Vee flicked a small white baggie at Morello's chest. It bounced off and landed on the floor between them. "Be a shame if her white whale came back to haunt her, or the COs caught her with possession. SHU does strange things to people, doesn't it?"

Vee finally let go of Morello's wrist, chucked her under the chin, and sauntered out, not bothering to look back as Morello clutched the sink for support and, still, felt herself falling.

.  
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Nicky didn't know what to say. She settled for stroking her fingers through Morello's hair as she tried to wrap her brain around what she had just been told.

"What'd you do with the drugs?" she asked finally, needing to say something _and _needing to know the answer.

"Put 'em in the toilet and then threw up on them."

It was so unexpected and funny-in-a-way-that's-actually-awful and so _Lorna_ that Nicky burst out laughing. "Fuck me, kid. Where were you when I was still using? You could have saved me a lot of trouble."

Morello didn't laugh, and Nicky suddenly felt guilt weigh down her stomach. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Not like you could have done anything," Morello mumbled.

"Yeah, well, I'm still sorry. Listen," she paused awkwardly, knowing it needed to be said but not wanting to be the one to say it. "Vee crossed the line. We have to report this."

Morello's head snapped towards her, eyes narrowed in anger. "Are you insane? They're gonna put me in SHU for having contraband _if_ they somehow don't send me to Psych for hurting myself. There's no way to tie this to Vee."

"Fuck, you're right." Nicky let out a frustrated sigh, trying very hard not to punch anything. Inmates handled shit like this themselves – and sometimes that was for the best – but times like this it just seemed stupid and unfair and dangerous. "But we need to do something about this. And those burns – they look pretty bad." Nicky winced as she looked back down at Morello's arm. "What were you going to do if I hadn't found out?"

Morello shrugged.

"Planning on wearing long sleeves for the rest of the year? Hoping those burns don't get infected? Hoping Vee doesn't come back to _kill_ you when you fail to deliver her little message to Red?" Nicky's voice rose higher, more heated with each suggestion.

Morello hung her head, her good arm swiping across her eyes to clear them. "Are you mad at me?" she sniffled.

"No, I'm not mad at you. How could I be mad at you?" Nicky kissed her on the forehead. "You did great."

Morello shook her head weakly, and Nicky sensed she was getting pretty close to losing it. The shock was wearing off, and reality was coming back.

"Lorna, I gotta tell Red," she said, rubbing Morello's back as reassuringly as she could. "And then I'm coming back to take care of you, okay?" Morello nodded, and they slowly untangled themselves from each other. Nicky wrapped the blanket around Morello's shoulders and gave her hand one last squeeze before she walked away.

"Nicky?"

She looked back at Morello sitting on the bed, and, finally, it was the Morello she knew and loved – albeit one that was falling apart but desperately trying not to.

"Give me two minutes, kid. Two minutes," she said, and she ran.

.  
.

Red, thankfully, was in her bunk, which Nicky burst into like a thunderhead.

"Nicky, to what – "

"Vee hurt Lorna."

Red was visibly shaken by the news, carefully lowering herself into her chair. "How?"

"Decided to give her a little brand with the cigarettes she's been bringing in. Said it was a message for you."

"Message?"

"She wants to know how you're getting things inside."

"But Lorna doesn't – "

"Yeah, yeah, she doesn't know anything. Vee doesn't care. Can we hurry this up a bit?"

It wasn't Red she was angry with, but Nicky couldn't help biting off every word like she was looking to start a fight. She couldn't stop pacing either.

"What do you need?"

"Something for burns. And you telling me how we're going to take down Vee."

Red started rifling through her storage cabinet. "Lorna – how bad?"

"She's kinda fucked up right now, but she'll be all right." Nicky kicked the frame of Red's bed harder than she had intended. "Can't say the same for Vee."

Red looked at her sharply. "Nicky, I'll take care of this. I don't want anyone else involved."

"Little late for that," Nicky shot back bitterly.

Red pushed some burn cream and gauze into Nicky's clenched hands and pulled her into a hug. "I'll take care of Vee. It's our business. She never should have gone after Lorna." Red never apologized, but Nicky knew this was her way of saying 'sorry.'

She was halfway down the hallway before Red called her back. Red shook a few big blue painkillers into Nicky's pocket. "She's small. One'll knock her out for a few hours. Let her forget for a while."

"Thanks, Ma."

.  
.

From the looks of it, Morello had had a good cry while Nicky was gone. Strategic on her part, Nicky was sure – Lorna didn't like to cry in front of people. Who did? But Nicky wished Morello would have let her help her through the worst of it.

"What'd Red say?"

"She's going to take out Vee. And she's sorry."

"She said that?"

"Nah, but she meant it." Nicky dumped her loot from Red into Morello's lap. "Got some stuff for your arm."

And then Nicky was rambling as she cleaned and applied ointment and bandaged, trying to fill the silence for both of them and cover up the fact that she had no idea what she was doing. It wasn't a knife wound or anything too complicated, but it was still a wound and it was still so obviously hurting Lorna (no matter how gentle she tried to be), and Nicky thought Lorna had been hurt enough for one day.

"…and then the penguin says, 'Dude, he's not an eggplant. He's retarded!"

They both smiled awkwardly at the punchline. Nicky had finally run out of semi-amusing stories and tangents about her neighbor's cat, and Morello took the opportunity to cover Nicky's fidgeting hand with her own steady one and, very seriously, asked, "Nicky? Are _you _okay?"

"I'm fine. Just worried about you, kid." She decided she had probably used enough gauze to treat several burn victims and called it a day. "Operation was a success, ma'am. Looks like you'll be able to keep that arm after all. How's it feel?"

"Okay. Better."

Nicky fished a blue pill out and held it up like a trophy. "From Red's private stash. She must really like you." She offered it to Lorna. "Figured you might want to sleep for a while...?"

Morello nodded and swallowed the pill dry before Nicky could grab some water. _You only get one chance to break my heart_. Yeah, right.

"C'mere. I've got a couple of hours before I need to be anywhere." She settled Morello in her lap and started stroking her hair again. Morello was already having trouble keeping her eyes open.

"You know what this reminded me of?" Morello asked quietly. "Pornstache."

Nicky chuckled. "Pornstache? What the hell does that mean?"

"Oh, you know, when he made me drive out."

"Made you drive out where?" Nicky was starting to get a bad feeling about where this conversation was headed. "Why are we talking about Mendez, Lorna?"

Morello snuggled closer to her. "He was like Vee. He wanted to know Red's system."

Nicky's hand froze mid-stroke, tangling in Morello's hair. "What exactly did he do?"

"We drove really far off camp. I don't know where. And then we stopped in the middle of the woods – it was like something out of _The Sopranos_. He started getting all aggressive and...and I told him I didn't know anything, and he stopped. We came back, the end."

Nicky didn't have to think too hard to know what Pornstache had threatened her with. It made her feel sick. "I…I don't know what to say to that, kid. Jesus. Why didn't you _tell _someone?"

"Nothing happened."

"Nothing happened? _Nothing happened?_ It sounds a lot like Pornstache broke, I don't know, about a thousand rules and laws and threatened you and almost did something horrifying to you, and you're telling me _nothing happened_?"

"He stopped. Not like this time."

"I can't believe you didn't tell anyone! We're family. We're supposed to protect each other."

Morello looked up at her with heavy-lidded eyes and a frown. "I thought I was protecting you."

"Yeah, and you're supposed to let us protect _you_ back, idiot." She smoothed the worry lines in Morello's forehead with a smile. "Don't get me wrong, I like a woman with mystery, but secrets like that are too much for one person to handle. Promise me you won't do that again."

"Okay. Promise."

"Did Vee really say that I have big hair?"

"Yep. Funny, considering…" Morello vaguely waved a hand by her head to mimic Vee's own rather sizeable coif and almost hit Nicky in the face.

"All right, kid, go to sleep before you take someone's eye out. Namely, mine."

Lorna stilled almost immediately, exhaustion and medication taking effect. Nicky wasn't big on silences or sitting still, and her legs were already feeling a little numb under Morello's weight. It had been a long time since they had been this close, and Nicky wished it had happened under any other circumstances – it was more than a little fucked-up to take pleasure in the unconscious company of an ex-girlfriend. So she stared at the ceiling and listened to the squeak of other prisoners' boots against the linoleum and waited for someone to tell her what to do, certain of only three things in her life: that she was in love with Lorna Morello, that she was going to spend the better part of the evening finding things to break, and that she was going to kill Vee Parker.


End file.
